Thursday, January 12, 2012

My most embarrassing moment...

I recently told this story to my husband, which I hadn't thought of in years, but as I was telling the story it occurred to me that this was definitely my most embarrassing moment in life.

When I was in 7th grade, I was girl scout. A very chatty, and obnoxious girl scout, and I rode the bus to school with a bunch of "cool" boys who loved to torment me. Once, they threw my gym shoes out the bus window (all important details of the story).

Here's a photo, you know, just so you get a real idea of what an awkward middle schooler I was...

(I can't believe I just posted that.)

One weekend my girl scout troop drove to the beach to go to a lock-in (man, lock-ins were so fun!). On that trip, I carried with me my awesome turquoise, Jansport backpack.  Somewhere along the trip, my troop leader passed around a bag of Tastetations. For those of you don't remember, Tastetations were these hard candies by Hershey that came in chocolate flavors. At the end of the weekend, the remaining Tastetations ended up in the front pocket of my backpack.

Let's now flash forward to Monday morning. My bus arrived at school before the bell rang, so we're parked in the bus loop with the other early busses. I am on my bus, talking to my good friend Jennifer, when I quickly remember that I have a big bag of Tastetations. I pop one in my mouth, and start babbling to Jennifer about something, when all the sudden (like 5 seconds after I popped it in my mouth), the Tastetation LODGES into my throat. I don't know what the heck happened, but bam. Tastetation stuck in my throat.  

Now, when I say throat, I mean my esophagus. Not my trachea.  I could breathe, but barely. 

At this point, Jennifer is kind of alarmed, but the "cool" boys on my bus definitely start to laugh. They think it's funny that the loud, chatty girl can't talk and her eyes are bulging out of head. A few other people around me realize I'm kind of freaking out, and they manage to rush me to the front of the bus. At this point, everyone thinks I'm legit choking.  Yet the "cool" boys are still laughing. 

We get to the front of the bus, where my bus driver, who, God bless her, was quite the redneck, decides to do the heimlich maneuver to me. To this day, i'm about 95% sure that she had no training in the heimlich. I guess she just thought it seemed like a good idea. Meanwhile, I know I'm not choking, but this full size piece of candy is lodged in there so badly that it hurts and I can barely speak.  

When redneck bus driver finally realizes (after what felt like 5 minutes) that her heimlich isn't working, and my bus is thoroughly enjoying this show, she rushes me off the bus, into the middle of the bus loop to get help. I want to tell her I'm okay, but I just remember being unable to talk.  Everything was embarrassing up to this point, but getting off the bus was when things hit the worst point. Being in the middle of the bus loop with a bus driver trying to do the heimlich on me meant that every bus in the bus loop could now watch this happen. I remember being mortified. They must have walky-talkyed (I made up that spelling) the nurse, who comes running into the bus loop with a wheelchair. I believe I was hoping she also had a blanket so I could throw it over myself. Every middle schooler who rode the bus now had seen my little episode. 

The nurse calmed me down and gave me hot tea to drink to help dissolve the candy, and half an hour into the school day she sent me to first period, which was chorus.  I remember walking in and people telling me that they had heard I had died. My story had spread like wild fire. I was the talk of the school that morning.

From then on, I learned to NEVER speak with ANY sort of food in my mouth. For a long time I avoided all hard candy, at all costs. There was no way I would eat it. 

The other day when I thought about this story, it made me laugh so hard. I really hadn't thought about it in probably five years. Middle school is such a weird time in life, and I wouldn't be surprised if most people's embarrassing stories came between the ages of 12-14. I think it's natural.

Anyone else have a horrible memory from middle school that they'll never get over? 
Please tell me I'm not alone!


  1. I'm sure I have one or five from middle school, but the first that came to my mind was in 5th grade. Those little backpackers were super popular! My teacher told us we could have them as long as we kept them in a safe place. I out mine on the back of my chair because that was the cool place for it. The. One day we were giving presentations about a state and I got up to go next, knocked. The little backpackers off my chair, tripped on it and literally flew through the air. It was like slow motion and I dont think there was anyone who didn't laugh. I swore off little backbacks after that! Love embarrassing stories!

  2. Oh gosh! I love these stories. Especially now that I'm teaching 7th grade. It is such a difficult age.

    I remember sitting in a pile of melty bubblegum in phys. ed. The blacktop was hot and the gum melted everywhere. It was cinnamon gum and bright red. Everyone said, "Amanda had her period all over!" I was mortified. The gum NEVER came out of my p.e. clothes.

  3. I feel like I have this kind of choke-on-hard-candy moment once a week. Does that stop me from eating hard candy? Nope.

    Clearly, you are a much smarter person than I am.

    Last week I was afraid I was going to vomit on a customer because it was SO lodged in my throat. I guess I've learned to "work through" the panic. Especially since I shouldn't really be eating hard candy all the time at work. OOPS!

  4. This story made me giggle at my desk! I was THE most awkward middle schooler and I'm pretty sure my pictures could give your a run for it's money if bangs and braces were currency anyway.

    I have terrible memories from middle school but far I think they ALL involve food - where to sit, what to eat, is it on my face or in my hair (yes my hair.)

    Thanks for sharing ;)

  5. Oh my gosh!! How awful and mortifying! I think we've all got some kind of story like this from those awful years in middle school. Glad you were ok though!

  6. Ok, that was hilarious. Ha! I was an equally awkward middle schooler. Even John laughed when he looked at my 6th grade year book picture. So a few thoughts...
    #1-I LOVE lock-ins. I wish I could do another one.
    #2-I LOVED Tastetations. I liked the Caramel/Chocolate combo ones
    #3- While walking through the 8th grade hallway in my 3 inch platform sandals (with body glitter on, probably) I slipped in a wet spot and fell straight onto my back. I screamed, my hair, back, and booty got soaked. It was lovely.

  7. I blocked most of that out, but I sure did fall up the stairs a lot.

  8. I swear I think everyone HATED middle school. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I have children and they're in middle school. It's like sending your kids into battle.

  9. I don't have specific embarrassing moments I can remember from middle school, but it was a generally awkward three years, so I'm sure there was no shortage of embarrassing or at least awkward moments.

  10. this made me laugh. i'm sorry :)

    in high school, the soccer practice fields were right in front of the baseball fields. so all the hottie baseball players always walked by our practice to get to theirs. when i was a junior, there was a senior baseball player that was just GORGEOUS. so being me, i decided to show out one day as he walked by. i got my bff to cross me a ball and i went up to head it into the goal. only i was in the wrong place, missed the ball, and hit my head so hard on the post that i passed out. cold. mortified. to this day.

    and did i mention the rest of the team was with him? yep. nice.

  11. I can't stop laughing. Like I am cracking up SO MUCH right now. This is flipping hilarious! Your poor middle school self! I can only imagine how mortified you were!!!! And the fact that they had heard you died. LOLLLL!!

  12. I am absolutely cracking up!! Middle school was so darn awkward!! To me, the funniest part of the story is that they heard you had died. Oh, the joys of middle school rumors!!